Summer, Sand, Time

I hit a big milestone birthday in May which coincided with a beach vacation. My sister, niece and I went for an amazing week to the Emerald Coast in Florida. That trip was so many things for me! My sister had just bought a new SUV and since it’s about an eight-hour drive, we did a road trip rather than deal with the expense and hassle of flying.

We had so much fun on the drive to Florida, we laughed and caught up with each other, talked about our respective jobs and enjoyed the scenery. Just after getting back on the road from lunch, we suddenly got caught in a huge traffic snarl from an accident just a bit ahead of us and sat on the freeway for an hour before a LifeFlight helicopter landed a quarter mile in front of us to transport injured people to the hospital. After the accident cleared and we got going again we talked about how, if we had left the restaurant just a few minutes earlier, we might have been involved in that accident, instead of just being delayed by it. One of those what-if moments, sliding door metaphors.

Getting closer to our Destin destination (see what I did there?), the bodies of water we saw became ever clearer in beautiful shades of blue and green. We have spent most of our lives on the Texas Gulf Coast, where the closest beach was Galveston. I don’t want to offend anyone who loves Galveston, but gorgeous beaches are not the prime attraction, so the three of us went all FanGirl over that blue Florida water and white sand. VERY different than what we are used to in a beach! I even had the thought, “oh, this is why people love a beach. I think I get it now. This is flat-out gorgeous”.

Checked into our gorgeous beachfront condo, unloaded the car and got onto the beach just in time to catch our first sunset. The next morning, and every morning that week, my sister and I got up early to go for a walk on the beach. The property staff put out beach chairs and umbrellas every morning for the day (fancy!), so when we came back from our walk we could just plop down into a chair and have a sit. A Beach Sit.

There is really nothing like sitting on a beach to relax. Sometimes, however, for the overly introspective brain like mine, that relaxation can segue into thinking deeply about your life. For me, that can be a good thing if I can focus on being quiet and trying to gain some clarity when I have decisions to make. Life is full of next steps and chapters, big and little choices that can change your direction. Lots of those metaphorical sliding doors. However, that introspection flow can also devolve into regret over past actions and decisions that now feel like mistakes.

We’re told that even the mistakes are a necessary part of our journey to becoming who we are, but geez, sometimes those mistakes are painful and - for me at least - the regret can go beyond “learning opportunities”. It’s hard not to go down the rabbit hole of each one and obsess over what I would do differently. I’m getting slightly better at catching myself when this happens, hauling myself up out of the rabbit hole and just letting go of regret. But only slightly.

I took a lot of pretty pictures on this trip, but one of my favorites is this one:

I’m not very good at identifying birds or waterfowl - I think maybe these were sandpipers, but they were tiny. At any rate, I loved watching them traipse and scavenge each morning, imprinting the fresh white sand with their tiny footprints, just moving ahead and doing their thing. Those little creatures don’t sit around thinking and getting too deep in their own thoughts over past decisions and what direction to take next. They just move and look for something to eat, just survive. For them, time is meaningless. We, on the other hand, can’t help ourselves. We think about life and the passage of time, regret over some decisions, and hope for the future. As I get older, I’m truly alarmed at how fast time is going by. You all know the feeling: when we were kids, it felt like it took forever for our favorite holidays to roll around and now it feels like time is a speeding freight train. It will be August in a week, but it feels like Christmas was just a few weeks ago! The sands of time are pouring faster through the hourglass, however much I want it to slow down.

Knowing that we were going to visit several beach communities along the coast, my sister had the foresight to order little glass vials and labels to bring on our trip so we could collect a little sand from each beach as a memento. All of the beaches were pretty, and I love seeing the slight shade variances in each. I keep mine on my nightstand or my desk to remind myself of that fun trip with two of my favorite people, and as a reminder that time is fleeting. I’m trying harder to enjoy each day, even the icky, stressful or boring parts. Good memories and hopeful feelings about the future - I’m here for it.

Here’s hoping that your summer is going swimmingly and that you are finding that elusive balance of busy and lazy!

Love, Bonnie

A Year of Insanity, Miracles and Possibly Too Much Cheese

I saw a greeting card many years ago that pretty well describes how I’m feeling right now: the front reads “Thank You for Having Us to Dinner”, and inside… “We Laughed and Farted All the Way Home”. 2024 definitely delivered some pretty awful events to me, but also lots of WOW moments which I am still absorbing, and for which I am beyond grateful. While I won’t recount any, ahem, intestinal distress, for you here, I will tell you that I laughed a lot this year and indeed all the way to the finish line last night. I call that A Win.

On January 1st, I’m usually tempted to make Big Resolutions and what-not, but this year I am subscribing to a Gentle January. Because y’all know - it has been A Year. I have had too much sugar, alcohol, bread and way too much cheese (sadly) lately. Unlike my partner, however, I have learned that I’m really not good at the whole quit-everything-bad-for-you-at-once-and-cold-turkey-too method of meeting the new year. I want some water, a walk, a few green vegetables and a nap, but I also like crepes, cranberry walnut bread and a glass of wine with dinner sometimes, so there’s that. I think there is room for both.

This year, I’d like more, please. More laughing, more time with my family, more crepes and wine and vegetables and walks. More magic shows delivered by my 6-year-old great nephew, Harris. Better sleep, better time management, better finances - all those usual suspects. I’m grateful for so much, truly.

I’ll leave you with a message I wrote to some friends earlier this week:

Like many years, this one was full of ups and downs, sorrows and joys. The feeling that most comes to mind, however, is wonder. This year our family was profoundly reminded that life is fleeting, unpredictable, at turns terrifying and miraculous, but it all threads together in what one poet called Life’s Rich Tapestry. Some days you get the beautiful pristine “right” side, and other days you are navigating the reverse side’s tangled mess of knots, ugly bumps and loose ends. It is all wonderful in its own way. 

 I wish you all a Happy New Year, my friends, full of all the wonder that life can deliver. Remember that joy and wonder come also in the small and ordinary spaces, the in-between pages in our lives.

Love to you,

Bonnie

Muscle Memory

It’s a curious thing, muscle memory. The old saying “…it’s just like riding a bike…” - that’s muscle memory. Your body gets on a bike after decades of not riding one, and your brain pretty much remembers what to do. Remarkable. I pick up a sewing needle after weeks (weeks, I tell you!) away from hand sewing, and yep - it kicks right in!

I have a family member going through some intense physical therapy after a recent accident, and I’m amazed all over again at the body’s ability to rebuild neural pathways that have been traumatized. It’s sort of like going out into the street after the hurricane has screamed through: the power is out, trees and branches are littered everywhere, heavy things like fenceposts and cars are thrown all over like toys. But still, you can see the street under all that debris. The basic infrastructure is still there. So you start cleaning up, slowly and methodically. The brain needs some help sometimes in reintroducing itself to the downed parts. As long as that spark is there, you have something to build on.

The heart has a muscle memory too.

Reconnecting with an old friend is sweet. Reconnecting with your own heart after a season of sorrow or difficulty is sweet, too. But my heart’s muscle memory also includes that tendency to hold onto all of the debris that it may be time to clean out, like shame and guilt and regret, all that ick. Just because that stuff has taken up residence in the dark corners doesn’t mean it gets a lifetime lease to hang out. No squatter’s rights in the heart!

One of my meditations uses a visual of hiking along a beautiful mountain trail in cool, sunny weather, a personal happy place. The path is lovely, but I’ve got a heavy pack on, so with every deep exhale of breath I visualize myself taking something out of that pack that I no longer need, such as that big stone of regret, and just leaving it alongside that path. I carry on with a lighter load and room in my heart for new things.

I’ll leave you here this week with a little reminder to set down some of the stuff you don’t need anymore. Make new memories for your heart to hold onto.

❤️ Bonnie

Dog(gie) Days of Summer

August 11, 2024

Oof. It is hot here, y’all. I live in Texas, close to the Gulf Coast, and in August we get that 107° 75-pound/psi air. AKA humidity. It’s heavy and wet and gross. It feels like trying to breathe underwater. It’s…well, you get the picture. Anyway, August in Texas calls for a few lifestyle tweaks, like switching from an outdoor walk to some quality time with the treadmill in an air-conditioned gym, cold suppers or using the grill outdoors instead of turning on the oven. It’s time for chilled pinot grigios and cool cocktails, and perfectly ripe pears with lemon sorbet for dessert.

Favorite Summer Salad

• choice of salad greens (romaine, spinach, red leaf, butter lettuce)

• fresh leafy herbs like mint and basil

• toasted pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds or pine nuts

• sliced avocado

• fresh berries

• grilled chicken

• choice of dressing (I like Ranch dressing or a sweet-ish vinaigrette)

• drink with something cool like a pinot grigio or lemonade

As per the post title, mid-August here means we are in the Dog Days of Summer, defined by The Farmers’ Almanac as “…a period of particularly hot and humid weather occurring during the summer months of July and August in the Northern Hemisphere. This period of sweltering weather coincides with the year’s heliacal (meaning “at sunrise”) rising of Sirius, the Dog Star. Sirius is part of the constellation Canis Majoris—the “Greater Dog”—which is where Sirius gets its canine nickname, as well as its official name, Alpha Canis Majoris. Sirius is the brightest star in the sky, not including our own Sun”.

The beautiful boy in this week’s cover photo is Dio, who graciously allows us to share a home with him. I’m pretty sure that in this photo, he’s pondering why dumb humans are in charge. Or maybe he’s just thinking about dog stuff. Food and sleep and LOOK THERE’S A SQUIRREL and does he need to pee and more food and more sleep.

While Dio is thinking his dog thoughts in the cool air-conditioning, the humans are busy. I’m deep in Create Mode on some nice squishy pillows for Fall and Planning Mode for holiday products.

Just playing with Fall and Winter fabrics brings my temp down a few degrees. Heck, I’ve even been playing around with some flannels!

But wait - how is the year almost three-quarters over? Didn’t we just put the Christmas decorations away like, last week?! Ack! Alright…settle down, Bonnie. Do not panic. Everything’s okay. Ohhkaay, and we’re breathing.

Phew. Well, whether you’re being lazy today (and if so, yay you!!) or keeping busy, please consider these Ways to Survive Summer:

• Hydrate. Please.

• Keep some damp washcloths or fresh-scented facial wipes in the fridge. When you come in from the merciless heat, apply to face and neck to cool down.

• Be nice. Everyone’s kinda hot and irritable, not just you.

• Carry on. These days of triple-digit temperatures and dripping humidity will end. Eventually.

• Take a nap with your own bright doggie star, one of our Scottie Dog Pillows, made of cool cotton and imminently squishable!

Until next week, carry on!

❤️ Bonnie

Dream A Little Dream

I love writing almost as much as I love making things, so getting to write a blog on my online store’s website is pretty supah-calee-fragi-listic, you know?

I’ve been playing around with the idea of selling what I make for a long time, and that crazy Worldwide Coronavirus Pandemic Thing (hereafter to be known as WCPT) that we all just went through pretty much solidified it. I think the WCPT did that for a lot of people. Actually, I can think of a much better acronym than WCPT, but this is a G-rated site.

One of my favorite memes says “Life is Short. Eat the cake. Buy the shoes. Sleep with the guitar player.” I would add “Start the business already!” to that list. So yes, here I am, ready to put my wares out in front of the world to be viewed, possibly criticized, hopefully admired and purchased. Wares that I have lovingly crafted with my own two little hands (and I’ve got the cuts and scrapes to prove it). It’s scary, this whole putting-yourself-out-there thing, but not as scary as getting to The End and feeling regret that I didn’t do the things I wanted to do because I let fear get in the way.

Let’s be clear, though: deciding to start a business and getting it up and running are two oh-so-very different things. I know a lot about making things. What I know about running a business is a much smaller body of knowledge! It’s not really a body, it’s more like a thimble-ful of knowledge. However, when fear overtakes me at approximately 2:13AM and I wake up in a cold sweat, thinking “What am I doing?!”, there is collective voice that counters with “It’s okay. You’re smart. You’re resourceful. You’ll make mistakes, big and small, and just like everything else in your life - you will hopefully learn from them. Keep going. This is your dream, and you will figure it out one piece at a time.”

This collective voice - it’s made of many, many good things and people. My mom’s voice is in there, so is my brother John’s voice - both beloved to me and, even though they aren’t here any longer in a physical sense, still so very present in spirit. Both of them believed so much in me, more than I believed in myself for a long time. Life experience is in there too, and the encouragement of my family and friends. Also in the mix is a good dose of hard-earned self love.

My store is called 62 threads mercantile. 62 is the age I was when I actually filed my business registration papers. Threads because, well, the obvious reference being that my medium is fabric, thread and needle. But also, because every one of my 62 years has been a thread in the strange, beautiful, sometimes complicated and messy tapestry of my life so far. It’s probably corny, but hey - who doesn't like some corn occasionally? Hot, with a little salt and pepper and butter? Yes, please! Wait, I’m getting off-topic. My point is that I want my business to have meaning in my life. Will I become a gazillionaire (millionaires are so 1980, puh-lease) from it? Yeah, probably not. Will it give me a creative outlet, something to supplement my social security income, something to eventually “retire” into? Yes, I hope so. But really, I see it as an opportunity to use my creative gifts and make some beautiful things to put out into the world. Maybe even some useful things! Crazier things have happened, right? RIGHT?! And lastly, the store’s name is styled in lower case because I want it to be fun. I generally do try to take serious things seriously - and it is hard work - but I believe you can work hard and have fun too. Because I’m all crazy and idealistic like that, even at (now) 63. I hope I never lose that…it’s one of my favorite parts of me.

So yeah, here I am, making and writing and working and living. If you’re reading this and you got this far - Thank You. So Much. Really. Thank you for being interested in my store, in the things that I make, in the crazy stuff that goes on in my brain, and by extension…interested in me. I hope you have some fun while you’re here, and that you’ll visit often. I hope I can be part of your collective voice too, the voice that encourages you to do the thing you love even if you are a little afraid. Or a lot afraid. You can do it. You are intrepid. So am I. And I love that about us.

❤️ Bonnie